Secrets
Draco Malfoy. I sometimes wonder whether he even likes me...or whether it's family pressure. Like my family...but I get ahead of myself.
I'm Pansy, Pansy Parkinson. Member of one of the oldest Wizarding families in the world. We've never had a single person out of Slytherin house...unlike some families...a few even went to Gryffindor! Can you imagine the shame?
My parents think Draco Malfoy is the perfect match for me. We will end up marrying, I suppose. It's not so bad, Draco's not a bad kind of boy...I could have fared worse. Except that I love someone else. Deeply, but that is not my story.
The Malfoy family and ours have always had ties. I'm also a perfect bride for Draco Malfoy. Not a drop of Muggle-blood, impeccable family history...untarnished, except for the- the Secret.
I was not meant to find out, but I did, of course...through the worn pages of my mothers Secret Diary.
Dear Diary,
Andrew Finnigan smiled at me today. At me, a Slyetherine! I can hardly believe it! Those beautiful green eyes actually rested on me. It is against everything, but I think...I think I'm in love with him. There! I said it. I love Andrew Finnigan to eternity.
Could he ever love me back? Could we be the first to shed the shackles of conformity and familial pressure? I'm just deluding myself. He was just being polite...like all other Gryphondores. The Raevenclawes and Huffelepuffes do not scorn us as much as the Gryphondores.
I wish Andrew would just give me a sign...
Cassandra Malfoy
Dearest diary,
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Today Andrew said to "cast aside old predelictions and be friends." He has not said he loves me, but friendship is a cornerstone to love. I feel like I have taken one step to eternity.
They say that love at eighteen can be fickle, but I love him forever,
Cassandra Malfoy
The diary goes on for a few years after this. That part is not important. Here is the important part, the part that rips and tears at me.
Dear Diary,
What I have been dreading and hoping for happened today. It is my twentieth
birthday...and the day Andrew and my child is born. Well, children would be more accurate. Three little girls. They are the most beautiful things in the world.
Andrew doesn't know, of course...I live with my husband now. I've found people to take two of my children. Such nice Muggles. Yes, they are Muggles, but they have good hearts. They say that they would be proud of witches in their family. I am sure it is true.
I heard that Andrew got married...I don't know to whom. They have a child, too...premature. Named Seamus. Such an odd name...He married barely a month after we split up...I should not have expected eternity.
My beautiful little girls. George Parkinson will never know that I had three children. He will always think he had one.
I have named them. Pansy, Lily and Petunia. Such pretty names. Two will have different names of course. Lily and Petunia Dursley. But little Pansy will be a Parkinson. None will have their real fathers name.
It's better they never know. I was wrong to think that Andrew ever really loved me.
He used me and went back to his little Gryphondore Mudblood. I should have never become involved with mudbloods and Gryphondores. I hate them now. I know the truth.
I shall hate them until I die.
Please...please...let my girls grow up happier than me. I wish it with all my heart and soul. The time has come to say goodbye.
I hope my beauties fare well...
Cassandra Parkinson
And she stops writing there. She never knew I found her old school diary and I will never tell her.
I realised the implications quite soon. Harry Potter and I are blood relations...cousins. It is hard to believe. If anyone in my family knew-..I shudder to think it.
I suppose my mother, for one, would disappear in the dead of night. Petunia and I would probably be next, along with the Finnigans. I will never tell anyone.
Those who do not study history are bound to make the same mistake. Those were the words that Professor Binns used.
I cannot but help think it true...
I have studied my history. Will I be doomed to make the same mistakes? Maybe I should just keep to my path, the path that generations before me have traversed and met no harm...is that not better than straying into the unknown wilderness?
Or am I doomed to keep hanging on Seamus' smile and his gesture and his laugh. The haunting look in his eye when he turns my way? Is he just being 'polite'?
I hope not, for I love him. Irrationally, beyond control...
Do I have the courage to write my own destiny?
I into the Great Hall. Draco stood at one side and Seamus at the other. It was an embodiment of my choice...would Seamus leave me to marry Draco someday as happened with my mother?
Will my daughter read her history from my Secret Diary? I do not know the answer to these questions.
I closed my eyes and made a choice. A choice that I could not reverse or take back.
"Hello Draco." I said, my cowardice prevailing.
Seamus did not look at me.
The door to light slammed violently shut and I was left in utter, complete and desolate darkness.
*~*~*~*~*~
Authors note: Slyetherine, Gryphondore, Raevenclawe and Huffelepuffe are the old names of the houses. These are the original names of the founders. The house names have changed over the years and the founders names 'lost in the mists of time' as they say.
Got a problem? We claim artistic license!! If we've gotten any names wrong here's a piece of news- WE DON't CARE! And we know about the screwed up time-line, k?!! And there are hardly any typo's in our work! We couldn't find any...
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P.s- We do not own Harry Potter, Petunia Dursley, Lily Dursley, Seamus Finnigan, Draco Malfoy, Prof. Binns or Pansy Parkinson. This is based on JK Rowlings excellent Harry Potter series. Any other names belong to her and/or her publishers. Cassandra Malfoy/Parkinson, George Parkinson and Andrew Finnigal are OUR characters. Do NOT copy! This fic is copyright 2000!!