Harry. Harry...there you are. My godson. You look so like your father. Has anyone told you that? Are you happy? Has there been anyone to guide you?
I have failed Lily and James...utterly. I should have been there for you, Harry. I should have helped you. Instead you don't even know me. You think I'm a Muggle criminal with a gun. That's what they said on the Muggle news.
I just want to have a closer look...before you go to Hogwarts. No! You've seen me...I can't let you see me. I quickly slunk away from the garage of Privet Drive.
I hope I didn't scare you, Harry. I probably did. What did you think I was...something fearsome, terrible? This hurts so much...I want to tell you that I didn't do it Harry. I could never do that to your parents. They were my best friends.
But how can I deny it? It was all my fault...it was I who convinced Lily and James to use Wormtail. Wormtail. His name tastes bitter in my mouth.
How could I have been so gullible? That doesn't matter. I was.
Enough of thought...enough of deliberation. I must continue my journey. I will see you there, Harry. See you at Hogwarts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Let- me -in!" I shouted in desperation. "Let me pass, you fat idiot!"
The picture in front of me bristled. "I told you again and again- NO! You don't have the password. I WON'T let you inside!"
"You stupid blob of paint!" I let out a howl of rage. The beast in me came out. "You don't understand!"
In a flash, a knife flicked out of my pockets. My mind was blind as I slashed and slashed at the old canvas. The Fat Lady screamed but i took no notice.
Just get to Wormtail. Just get to Wormtail! The Fat Lady had diappeared when I stopped slashing.
I was breathing hard but there was still no way in. Suddenly, I heard laughter. I Transfigured quickly and bounded down the hall and hopefully out of sight.
My hands shook. I had slashed the Fat Lady. The painting that had been so nice to me at Hogwarts. Who had even let me in after a late night escapade with James. I had slashed her.
I shook my head quickly. You are here for a purpose. Just get Wormtail. You've waited too long for this. Too long.
~*~*~*~*~*~
He looked exactly like his father in those scarlet Quidditch robes. If it wasn't for the scar and the eyes I could have mistaken him for James. My best friend James. That's why it's so hard looking at him.
The rain's pelting down. He's getting blown off course. I remember a match against Slytherin where the weather was like this. James had used an Impervius Spell on his glasses...Harry could do that too...but I didn't know how to get the idea to him.
A bag was lying on the floor nearby. It belonged to that bushy-haired girl that Harry was friends with. I had seen them and who was unmistakably Arthur Weasley's son together.
"Accio" I said and took out a spell book from the bag. I opened the page to the Impervius spell and placed the books back nearby her. I picked up a small pebble and flung it at the stands.
I slunk back into the shadows, a great, shaggy dog once more.
I saw her look, puzzled at the open book. Then a bright expression lit her face and she jumped down from the stands.
A warm feeling entered me...one I hadn't had for a long, long time...some meagre form of, for want of a better word, contentment. This quickly dissipated as I saw Harry see me.
I merged back into the shadows.
He looked away. Dear God, no! At least a hundred Dementors were entering the field. Harry stopped and looked at them. My insides froze with fear.
I saw Harry lose his balance and start to fall. No! Harry!
"Decraeseum" I shouted rashly, making Harry slow down before he hit the ground. Dumbledore was bound to notice it but I couldn't let anything happen to him.
I saw his Nimbus get caught on a gust of wind and hit the Whomping Willow. With incredible violence, the tree smashed it into two and battered it unmercifully.
What will Harry do now? I vaguely remembered something I saw in Hogsmeade as I had snuck through it. A mail order form in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies. An idea formed in my mind. A small way to say sorry. I smiled and was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Password, you scurvy rascal!"
I grimaced asI read off the weeks passwords to the overeager knight in the portrait. I had an urge to slash his glib face but I felt guilty about The Fat Lady.
"Enter, yon sir!" I stole in. I had gotten the passwords from a sheet of paper that a small freckly kid had left about.
He looked like Frank Longbottom...Frank and I had known each other before. Killed by who people thought were my co-conspirators.
I slipped into the boys dormitory, sensing my way. I was up to the first kid. I leaned in closer, but I couldn't see through the hangings. I gre impatient. My reason evaporated and I flicked out my knife and slashed viciously at the curtains.
The red-haired boy woke up and looked at me for a second. I started to put a finger to my lips but he screamed a terrible, bloodcurlding scream that shook even me, with my Azkaban experience.
I transformed and bounded out of the Dormitory. I hadn't even seen my godson.
~*~*~*~*~
I saw him. Wormtail. Get Wormtail! Get Wormtail! Every inch of my canine body screamed.
I leaped towards him but overshot and landed on Harry. I didn't have time to feel sorry and lunged towards the boy that was holding Wormtail.
I clamped my jaws on him and started to drag the kicking bundle into The Whomping Willow. I could see Harry and bushy-hair following me dimly.
I finally reached the base of the willow. The red-head had wrapped his feet around a root. I did not have time to be considerate. I gave a mighty heave which was followed by a sickening crack that rent the air.
A raw energy had possessed me. Get Wormtail! Get Wormtail!
I dragged the boy onward through the passage. He had started to scream loudly. I dragged him up to The Shrieking Shack and up through the staircase. He bumped painfully on each stair.
I deposited red-head on the floor and Transfigured back.
Harry and bushy-hair came in a few seconds later. I dimly heard them talking. I turned and tried to grin at Harry.
"Expelliarmus." I croaked at them. I fixed my eyes on Harry and spoke to him.
I don't even clearly remember what I said. I wanted to tell him how much like James he was but I think he took it as mocking.
His ears started to go slightly red. I knew he was in a rage. James' ears were the same.
The conversation continued for a while. I was too focussed on Pettigrew. I can't even remember-...
He jumped on me and started hitting me.
"No...I've waited too long!" Get Wormtail! GET WORMTAIL!
My fingers closed around his throat. I don't understand how I could've-...Bushy hair kicked me, red-head grabbed my wand-hand and I let go.
Crookshanks tried to help me out. I remember him clawing and biting...
I ended up sprawled out, leaning on the wall. Harry was pointing his wand at me.
"Going to kill me, Harry?" I whispered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Authors note:
Never fear, we've done a sequel. Get out and go read it!!